America's First Black President

The people of Oz had lived for thousands of years in a land of milk and honey. It always had been their practice to work hard and save their money, putting it away for a rainy day. During the past 50 to 60 years, however, the industrious nature of the citizens of Oz slowly had changed, possibly due to something some evil demon had put in their drinking water. Or, Maybe, someone had cast a spell over them. No one knew for sure what had brought about the change. It was similar to a hive of honey bees that had been infected by a deadly virus that turned worker bees into drones, whose only purpose was to mate with the queen and consume the hives increasingly meager recourses. A hive like this, of course, was doomed to failure. But the Ozian's couldn't see what was happening to them, and like lemmings blindly running to their deaths over the side of a cliff, continued in their self destructive ways, hoping to beat France and Greece in the race to national irrelevance. And so it came to be, the people of Oz became increasingly fat and lazy as they sat back and watched their once prosperous nation deteriorate before their very eyes. But this tendency to slothfulness was not what ultimately did them in. No, it was their tendency to elect unworthy leaders that led to their ultimate demise. It began when they sent the socialist Woodrow Wilson to the White House and the folly continued when they elected Presidents Roosevelt, Johnson and the peanut farmer Carter. The leadership of these ultra liberal politicians, supported by the leftist dimwits and dingbats in the House and Senate, left the land of Oz swimming in a sea of red ink before you could say Jack Robison. But then, when things could hardly have gotten any worse, they made the biggest mistake of all, they elected their first black president. The sheeple of Oz ignored the fact that Senator Obama had been raised by a radical liberal mother and a Muslin communist father. Just as they overlooked his ties to the leaders of the cop killing Weather Underground's William Ayers and Bernadine Dohrn. It made even less difference to them, that president to be Obama, had sat in the pews of Reverend Jeremiah Wright's church for 20 years, while soaking up every word of the black leaders anti-Oz rhetoric. No, all that seemed to matter to the naive citizens of Oz was that the man they hoped to elect president was black. The fact that he was somewhat of a comical figure with his large misshapen and mismatched ears seemed only to endear him to the masses, the majority of whom would not rest until they had made him president. So, Obama became president of Oz and immediately began to change it into a country of his own liking. He took over General Electric and General Motors, demanded that the latter make electric golf carts disguised to look like actual cars, except that they didn't have real motors and wouldn't go very far on a charge of electricity. When it was determined that no one would buy the electric go-carts, their dear black leader insisted that GM give the fake cars away. The banks were the next to go. The former community organizer from Chicago's eastside, now the President of Oz, forced the banks to make home loans to anyone who wished to purchase a home, irrespective of whether or not they had a job or the means to pay for the dwelling. This led to the collapse of the housing market and sent the country into the worst recession since Oz's great depression 150 years before. The President's wife Mooch-chelle, who had thighs the size of medium sized redwood trees and liked barbecued ribs better than anything in the world, spent most of her time flying all over the world on Air force two at taxpayers' expense. She was accompanied by an entourage of camp followers, the likes of which had not been seen since the reign of England's King Henry the Eighth. When not on vacation the first lady grew vegetables in the White House garden and led the campaign to reform the school lunch programs in the land of Oz. This crusade was a miserable failure since most of the children, including their child President, preferred pizza and hotdogs too turnip greens and raw carrots. As time went on, the first black President's appearance began to take a turn for the worse. His face, the main feature of which had always been his lopsided elephant like ears, began, because of his incessant lying, to resemble that of the cartoon character Pinocchio. His big ears were no longer such a big deal, as his nose continued to lengthen with each passing day. This, of course, was an emperor's clothes situation and no one in his staff of advisors, or any member of the press, dared to mention the first black President's ever-enlarging Pinocchio like nose. Things came to a head, when the President's snoozle became so long that it interfered with his ability to read a teleprompter. His inability to use the teleprompter was a disaster because Oz's first black president didn't have the ability to form meaningful words, much less sentences, if left to his own devices. So ended, the reign of Oz's first black president. He left office in disgrace and returned to Chicago where he became the city's second black mayor. The first one, of course, was in prison with most of the state's previous liberal goveners. Proving once again, that you didn't have to know how to form words or meaningful sentences to be the mayor of a large city in the land of Oz.